The Wait Was Worth It for This House

I was looking in the newspaper for different homes to look at, and I even purchased one of those publications that have luxury listings in them. I was having no luck though, and I was actually growing frustrated with the search. I thought it would be fun finding the home I was going to buy, but it ended up being a huge time waster, at least at first. A friend told me about a realtor that his cousin had used, and then said his website is here, pointing to his computer.

I looked at the houses that were listed, and I did like them but none struck a chord with me. Still, I figured that this might be worth a shot, so I contacted the realtor and explained my dilemma.

This The 4 Primary Principles of Communication

Effective communication is a connectionbetween people that allows for the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and leads to mutual understanding. This exchange is evidenced when a speaker sends a message to which a listener responds. It seems simple, but it isn’t.

People tend to take the communication process for granted. We generally figure that the communication between two or more people is no big deal. It just works. However, the reality is very different—the process of communication is actually impressively complex.

There are many factors that ultimately determine whether a particular communication experience is likely to be successful or not. There are internal factors that affect each person participating in the communication process individually, interactional factors that affect how information is sent and received between two or more people, and external factors that affect the extent to which the physical environment is conducive to effective communication.

There are also certain principles inherent in the communication process, as well as skills people can learn and practice. When people are aware of these principles and apply this information, they significantly decrease the likelihood of misunderstanding

The Time When Your Teenager’s “In Love”

There was this song that came out when I was 13 years old.  It was by Dan Folgelberg, and I played it over and over again on my Pioneer turntable.  It went like this:

“Longer than there’s been fishes in the ocean.  Higher than any bird every flew.  Longer than there’s been stars up in the heavens.  I’ve been in love with you.”

I learned the chords on my guitar.  I hummed it while I rode my bike to and from school.  I mouthed the words as I shaved the blond peach-fuzz that was sprouting where a mustache might some day take hold.  I was smitten by this song.

The way I figured it, there were any of a number of girls in my 7th grade class whom I could easily imagine entirely and without any conflict whatsoever loving until the end of time.

Isn’t that funny?  I could totally picture, at the pudgy age of 13, falling utterly and “I-don’t-give-a damn-who-knows- it” in love with about 30 different girls.  My love would be absolute and uncompromising, just like in

The Best Way to Apologize And Show Your Truly Sorry

Young woman lost her love

Being human, it is unavoidable to hurt or offend people sometimes. Yet it’s not always easy to recognize this and offer a genuine apology to repair the damage.

It is unsettling to perceive that we’ve violated someone’s sensibilities. We need robust inner resources to prevent ourselves from slipping into a paralyzing shame-freeze that that leads to an avoidance of responsibility for our actions. It takes courage to downsize our ego and accept our human limitations with humility and grace.

The shame we carry prevents us from having a friendly relationship with our shortcomings. We think we need to be perfect to be accepted and respected. When our self-image clashes with how we really are, we scramble to defend ourselves. We blame others or make excuses rather than say with dignified humility, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

There’s nothing shameful to admit when we’ve made an all-too-human mistake. As John Bradshaw reminds us, making a mistake is different than being a mistake. Not acknowledging shortcomings is a sign of weakness, not strength.

Valentine Day

Valentine’s day may have its origins in the Lupercalia, an ancient Roman, and possibly pre-Roman, pastoral festival. The Lupercalia were celebrated on the ides of February, and subsumed the spring cleansing ritual of Februa, which gives the month of February its name. By purifying the city and purging it of evil spirits, the Lupercalia brought health and fertility. Priests sacrificed a goat and a dog to the god Lupercus, whose image, nude but for the girdle of a goatskin, stood in the Lupercal, the cave in which a she-wolf (lupa) suckled Romulus and Remus, the mythical founders of Rome. Lupercus is associated with Faunus, the Roman equivalent of Pan, the Greek god of the wild.

The origins of St Valentine (or Valentinus, meaning ‘strength’) are so obscure that, in 1969, the Catholic Church removed him from the General Roman (liturgical) Calendar. There are at least three early Christian saints by the name of Valentinus. One was a priest in Rome, the second was a bishop in Terni, and the third was martyred in Africa. The flower-crowned skull of one of the first two Valentines can be venerated in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. In 496, Pope Gelasius I established

This The Ones We Love

“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”— Albert Einstein

We each perceive love in our own way. Your perception of love would be determined by your past experiences. If you were raised by particularly difficult parents, your perception would be totally different than that of someone raised in a family with two loving, caring and devoted parents.

Did your parents openly show or express their love for each other and you? Most often, the love we’re shown is the love that we will then show to others.
As we all have a unique perspective on love, how would one define it? There is the love of a partner, yet the love for a child is different. There’s the kind of love which is felt for a sibling, and then quite another for our parents. An inanimate object such as a good book can bring about an entirely different expression of love, or what about a favorite hobby?

What I have found is that we each would arrive at our own definition of love if asked. But, when asked to

In Relationships: Is Femininity Good And Masculinity Bad

If one was to hear about an abusive relationship, there is a strong chance that this would involve someone who uses force to cause harm. This could mean that they use their body to do this and/or they might only use words.

Either way, this is going to mean that the other person is going to suffer, and their life is then not going to be very fulfilling. And while this could be something they experience from time to time, it could be a way of life.

Another Occurrence

Alternatively, one could hear about someone who has been attacked, and this is going to be another instance where force has been used. The other person might have been going about their life and for no apparent reason, they were harmed.
In this case, they are not going to be in an abusive relationship, but they will have a similar experience. And even though this could be a one-off, it doesn’t mean that it should be overlooked.

In The Spotlight

However, if one doesn’t hear about something like this, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be exposed to this kind behaviour. If they were

Info What is true Friendship

What is true Friendship?

Friendship is one of the many pivotal relationships our life circles around. Friends form the important part of our day-to-day lives, and influence us to extents much beyond our common perception. Though friendship sounds so Universal, some of us do find the concept to be pretty alien. The reason could be anything – incompatibility, withdrawn attitude, doubts, insecurity, you name it!

Mentioned below are few tips with reference to key areas we tend to overlook in any relationship, let alone friendship. I want to clarify here that these are not steadfast rules of some kind… Consider them simple ‘art of living tips’ on relationships.

Tip-off #1
Be your own friend.
Yes, you gotta be your own best pal. This is the first and most important step. You don’t do this right, then you screw the whole process! You have to love yourself and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Adore and appreciate yourself for all possible amazing things you can think about yourself.

Tip-off #2
In friendship, what matters most is not what you get, but what you give.
Don’t get caught up focusing on what

You Need To Know The Truth About Lie

A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

A single lie discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed.

If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.

We all know how difficult it is to trust someone again, who has lied to you before. Trust is an important part of every relationship; and when we lie, even if we think others will never find out, we will create a barrier of hurt in our relationship. Unfortunately, when the other person finds out about our lie, and it usually is the case, it’s nearly impossible to trust again. And the damage that is done to our relationship may be irreparable.
Once we have told one lie, we may need a second lie to protect the first one, a third to protect the other two and so on. After a while our lies become so extreme that even we may have trouble keeping track of them, especially if we say a different set of lies for each person we encounter. Although most of

For You Great First Date Ideas and Tips

Most guys make big mistakes when it comes to dating. This is because they fail to understand it is not so many great ideas to implement during their first date. One of which is that it is not necessary for your first date to be expensive. As a matter of fact, your date will be absolutely unimpressed if you try to captivate her with sumptuous gifts, dinners and entertainment forays.

First date is always full of expectation; it is where many people share their emotions about love. First impression they say lasts long. The way you comport yourself on your first date will last long in the heart of your partner.

Therefore in order to make a decent impression on your first date it is quite essential that you should mix the whole things effectively: the venue, the looks, the accessories and the attitude. These are some great first dates thoughts.

The primary motive of your first date is to know each other better. It is not vital to make your first date mushy and obviously romantic. Hence, it is essential that the place you will choose for your first date should be friendly and

In Relationship Should Someone Look Into What Is Taking Place Within Them If They Attract People Who Are Unavailable

While one could be in a fulfilling relationship with someone, there is also the chance that this is not the case. This could come down to the fact that they don’t want to be in one, and this might be a sign that they have just broken up with someone.

If this is the case, they might want to take the time to get over the person they were with. Perhaps this was a relationship that lasted a long time, and this could then mean that they are not ready to get back out there.

The Sensible Approach

The alternative might be for one to jump straight into another relationship, and this might stop them from having to face how they feel. As a result of this, this could be seen as being the easiest option.

But while this may allow them to keep their feelings at bay, it could set them up to suffer in another way. Out of their desire to avoid how they feel, they could end up with someone who is not right for them.

Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

In the short-term, they

Here Tips for Your Wedding Photoshoot

You think: “Photo Shoot, whoopee!” Or do you just think: “Photo-shoot … meh”. What your response may be: Let’s look at the photo shoot in perspective. It is by no means the most important part of the day! It is not even the most important part of the wedding photography! A picture of your mother with a tear or the laughter of your brother, after 10, 20, 50 years are more valuable. It’s about the stories, the moments, the little spontaneous things that are almost invisible during big moments. These pictures are more important than the one picture of you in that beautiful forest with a perfect composition.

Yet, if you guys are so nicely dressed, it’s nice to have photos showing well how you look. Of course to have a little fun. Sorry, no one could give a complete list of all the beautiful places in your country, but your photographers can see an area which is eligible and how he can shinen you! Your photographer will therefore always considered doing.

How long does such a shoot, is quite different, but most couples choose to one and a half hour schedule (excluding

This is it Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment

Anger hurts. It’s a reaction to not getting what we want or need. Anger escalates to rage when we feel assaulted or threatened. It could be physical, emotional, or abstract, such as an attack on our reputation. When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re really reacting to something in our past event – often from childhood.

Codependents have problems with anger. They have a lot of it for good reason, and they don’t know how to express it effectively. They’re frequently in relationships with people who contribute less that they do, who break promises and commitments, violate their boundaries, or disappointment or betray them. They may feel trapped, burdened with relationships woes, responsibility for children, or with financial troubles. Many don’t see a way out yet still love their partner or feel too guilty to leave.

Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment

Codependent symptoms of denial, dependency, lack of boundaries, and dysfunctional communication produce anger. Denial prevents us from accepting reality and recognizing our feelings and needs. Dependency on others spawns attempts to control them to feel better, rather than to initiate effective action. But when other people don’t do what we

The Reasons Why Do People Have a Type

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding attraction. When we talk about our “type,” what pops into our head may be certain physical features or a number of positive qualities that seem totally reasonable to desire. Yet, there appear to be mysterious forces at play pushing us to choose certain people, and not all of these forces work to our benefit. Most of us have felt a spark with someone we knew wasn’t right for us. We may even notice a pattern of seemingly selecting people who are precisely wrong for us. Too often, we fail to acknowledge or even notice the less favorable qualities that are luring us toward certain choices, subtle characteristics that are drawing us in. Without knowing why, many of us aren’t just attracted to certain people despite their negative traits but because of them.

To understand why we’re drawn to the people we are, we have to understand a basic law of attraction: we choose people whose defenses fit with ours. If we protect ourselves by being quiet or withdrawn, we may choose partners who are more pursuing and aggressive. If we are insecure or clingy, we may choose partners who are aloof

Learn How to Love you

In working with couples for over four decades, I have rarely heard intimate partners ask each other what they could do or say that would make the other feel more loved. I’m much more likely to hear self-serving statements like: “Why don’t you just remember what makes me happy?” “No matter what I do for you, it’s just never enough.” “You just never get me, do you?” “Why is it always about you? Don’t you ever want to know what I want?” “Why do you keep hurting me this way? Don’t you even care?”

Why is it that people, who once cared deeply for one another, seem so intent on getting their own needs met, and no longer interested in how they can love their partners more successfully? Why do long-term committed couples, who once seemed to care about the other’s deeper feelings and thoughts, become partners who are content to know each other by old assumptions and observations?

If you are an intimate partner who hasn’t kept up to date on your significant other’s internal feelings and thoughts, you are not alone. Many people become lazy in long-term relationships and just adjust and adapt to

Here A Web Site for the Heartbroken

Is romantic love a kind of addiction? A group of scientists seem to think so. And if it is, do other kinds of love — such as the kind that parents and grandparents feel — make the same physiological imprint on the human brain?

I found myself wondering about all this when reading a cute little Style section articleabout a web site for the heartbroken, which caught my eye the other day. I’ve been lucky in love — well, either lucky or unimaginative — and haven’t really suffered from devastating breakups too often. (Most of my intense heartbreaks were over teenage crushes; I married my college boyfriend when I was 19, and have stayed married to him for 43 generally happy, generally drama-free years.) But I know, mostly from watching friends and from reading novels, how devastating and all-consuming romantic breakups can be.

That’s where Mend comes in. It’s an online one-stop shop where the lovelorn can find professional help, a sympathetic ear, and a ready-made support group of other people in pretty much the same boat.

What really grabbed me in the article were the comments from Mend founder Ellen Huerta, who talked about a recent scientific study

Eight Signs You’re a Romantic Introvert

Introversion can be defined as “the tendency of being predominantly interested in one’s own mental life.”[1] When it comes to matters of the heart, an introvert may think, act, and communicate in ways that are different than those who are moreextroverted. Sometimes her or his intentions are misunderstood, or overlooked.

Here are eight signs that you may be a romantically inclined introvert, excerpted from my book: “Relationship Communication Success for Introverts.” Although this article focuses primarily on dating and courtship, many of the ideas examined below apply to committed romantic relationships as well.

Of course, each individual is unique, and some introverts many exhibit few or none of these signs. Nevertheless, the characteristics identified below are consistent with multiple studies and writings on the topic of introversion.[2][3][4][5][6] Many introverts are likely to have at least a number of the following traits:

1.   Looking to Meet “The One”    

Introverts often adopt a more thoughtful, introspective approach to courtship, and tend to take romantic relationships seriously, often from the outset. Instead of “flirting around,” “casually dating,” or “playing the field,” many introverts focus primarily on finding “the one” partner who is right for her or him,

Are You a Realist or a Romantic For Your Relationship

In romantic relationships, people are generally either realists or romantics. Very few people describe themselves as endowed with both a romantic spirit and a realist’s practicality. At the same time, many men and women search for relationships that are both exciting and stable, passionate and long-lasting. Yet, as many of us can attest, finding and sustaining this kind of a romantic relationship is hard. It requires partners learn to tolerate and cultivate both romantic and realistic parts of their own personalities.


Realists try to accept other people as they are, without insisting on improvement. They focus on making their relationships run smoothly and do not demand or crave fireworks. As a result, their romantic life tends to be stable and predictable, yet not particularly passionate or exciting.

My client Valerie is a realist. She grew up with a depressed, emotionally withdrawn father and now looks for closeness and connection in her relationships with men. At the same time, her love affairs lack spontaneity and excitement. Emotional stability and sexual monotony eclipse experimentation and surprise.

But Valerie complains that her romantic relationships become dull. And she blames her boyfriend for their joyless, lackluster romantic experiences.

Info Caregiving and Complicated Family Dynamics

Caregiving for an aging, ill parent is a common, though generally gruesome, experience. And, witnessing and experiencing family violence is also a painfully common reality. As a culture, we have slowly learned to be able to talk more about each phenomenon thus removing some of the pain, isolation, stigma and turmoil of each. Yet, nowhere do we really talk deeply about what it means to care for an aging and ill parent who also happens to have been an abuser.

According to The National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP (2009), 65.7 million caregivers make up 29% of the U.S. adult population providing care to someone who is ill, disabled or aged. The Alzheimer’s Association estimates that 43.5 million of adult family caregivers care for someone 50+ years of age and 14.9 million care for someone who has Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia (2012). And, caregiving is gendered: an estimated 66% of caregivers are female.

So, what about caregiving that takes place amidst complicated family dynamics such as abuse and control? It is important to acknowledge how common family violence is. Most acts of domestic violence go unreported so the statistics on this are

This Time to Replace the Heart as the Symbol of Love

I was downtown with my girls a few years ago checking out the arts-n-crafts tables at Union Square when I came across a heart necklace shaped like a heart. Like a real heart. Like if you didn’t know what a real heart looked like, you might have thought the necklace was a charm of a chicken breast with antennae sticking out.

I asked the saleswoman about it and she made some comment like “real love isn’t pretty.” That’s why she molded an anatomically correct organ rather than a heart-shaped heart.

My girls were appalled. I was sold. Not so much because I’ve got a dismal view on love—I’ll be celebrating my 27th anniversary next month—but because I appreciated the medical accuracy.

I got thinking about my accurate-heart necklace with Valentine’s Day around the corner. And that got me wondering why—of all of our body parts—we connect love to the heart. It’s really just a pump.

Turns out, in ancient times the liver was the organ of desire.

Maybe the liver-love-thing didn’t catch on because getting someone a box of liver-treats on Valentine’s Day sounds like something you’d get your dog.

I think